When Your Career Is Your Whole Identity, What Can Go Wrong?

Episode 502 | Host: Emilie Aries | Guest: Dr. Janna Koretz

How can you make sure your career doesn’t become your whole identity?

Passion for our careers can drive us to achieve great things. But what happens if that laser focus on the job becomes the only thing in our lives, edging out the personal goals, hobbies, and relationships that make us well-rounded human beings? 

While there’s often talk about losing oneself in motherhood or codependent relationships, psychologist Dr. Janna Koretz noticed similar trends among people in high-pressure jobs. She founded Azimuth Psychological to address this oversight, to treat those who experience career enmeshment: the complete entrenchment of their identities in their work. In this episode, Dr. Koretz and I discuss the potential pitfalls of living for the job and how a clearer understanding of our values can help us remain passionate and committed without losing ourselves in our careers.

What happens when your career becomes your whole identity?

No one is just one thing. While dedication to your career is a positive attribute, when your whole identity is wrapped up in it, you set yourself up for a major fallout. Almost everyone experiences a career setback at some point. If you identify only as your job, that missed promotion, layoff, arrival of a child, or retirement is liable to leave you unmoored, grasping for who you are now that it’s gone. In her work, Dr. Koretz sees how these events can lead to a total career existential crisis or worse: depression, anxiety, and substance use. 

How can you start to untangle your career and identity?

It’s not hard to imagine how we might become fully embedded in our careers. After all, people in service professions and positions that consume a significant number of years to achieve have worked extremely hard to get to where they are. If we make partner in our firm, say, or finally arrive in the c-suite, only to discover we aren’t enjoying it as much as we expected to, that can be deeply stressful and confusing.

Part of the problem, Dr. Koretz explains, is that most people are not given the opportunity to make sure their chosen career paths align with their values. They work from a flawed belief structure—the values their parents and teachers imposed on them that they never questioned, those of the culture surrounding them in school or at work, or simply outdated values they’ve left behind. When the misalignment is revealed, they are left not only with an unsatisfactory career (or, in the case of job loss, no career at all) but also no understanding of how to identify or fill the other “baskets” of their personalities that have been left empty for so long.

What’s the link between career enmeshment and values alignment?

Values are a compass for us, Dr. Koretz explains. When a misalignment is revealed, she and her team begin by helping the patient take a step back from the autopilot on which they’ve been operating and figure out what they actually care about. 

Clarity about who you are and what’s important to you feels good; it feels grounding. So, a first step is to take an inventory of your values. If you aren’t lucky enough to be a patient of Dr. Koretz’s, you can take her free values assessment to start figuring out what values underpin your identity. Then, it’s time to take an honest look at how you’re living and determine how closely that lifestyle corresponds with those real values.

Take action in line with your true values

If you realize your current work identity doesn’t align with your true values, quitting—or single-mindedly pursuing the perfect new career if you’ve been laid off—isn’t always an option. However, Dr. Koretz points out that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Everyone likes the idea of grand gestures, she says, but the things that actually make change happen over time are often boring and small. Sometimes, if you feel down this week, it’s as simple as recognizing that health is one of your primary values and you haven’t had a nutritious, home-cooked meal in days.

Building a five- or ten-year roadmap is another practice Dr. Koretz employs to help people see the path to a career more in line with their values. The adjustments might be incremental—just some more fulfilling volunteer work, an intentional break, or taking on a certain type of project in your current job, not a whole new career. But keep adding small things, over time, and big changes happen. Even if you have to pause or stop the roadmap at some point, at least you’ll be so much closer to living a balanced life that upholds all your values.

How do Dr. Koretz’s words resonate with you? Is your identity all wrapped up in your career, or do you have a diverse array of baskets you regularly fill? Share your take on pursuing values-aligned work and life on the Courage Community on Facebook or our group on LinkedIn

Related links from today’s episode:

Harvard Business Review, “What Happens When Your Career Becomes Your Whole Identity” by Dr. Janna Koretz

Harvard Business Review, “New Mothers, Let’s Talk About Your Professional Identity Crisis” by Dr. Janna Koretz

OSHA, Workplace Stress

“Working Identity” by Herminia Ibarra

Connect with Dr. Janna Koretz

Connect with Azimuth on Instagram

Download Azimuth’s mindful journaling app

Take Dr. Koretz’s Values Navigator quiz

Take the Career Enmeshment Test

LEVEL UP: a Leadership Accelerator for Women on the Rise

Bossed Up Courage Community

Bossed Up LinkedIn Group

LEVEL UP your career in a way that aligns with your values:

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